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英検1級エッセイ2023-2 Do social welfare programs help reduce inequality in society?

wordy, redundant, unnatural, collocation…などという観点からチェックしてくれる信頼のDaniです。


Do social welfare programs help reduce inequality in society? (education, income, health care)

Inequality in society has been a controversial global issue for the last few decades. I believe that social welfare programs contribute to reducing disparity for the following three reasons.

First, in terms education, social welfare assists students to have equal learning opportunities. For example, governments provide subsidies for some individuals who cannot afford to pay tuition fees. Thanks to this financial support, those eager to study at higher institutions do not need to give up on further education. Without a significant budget, it would be impossible for every student to receive the same educational opportunity.

Second, offering free job training plays a vital role in narrowing income gaps. For instance, Japan provides the unemployed with various types of training such as English language and computer literacy to secure permanent jobs with steady incomes. Additionally, numerous companies offer their female employees effective training to acquire job-related skills through government’s subsidies. Mastering such skills encourages them to work diligently, leading to an increase in the number of women in higher positions.

Finally, regarding health care, social welfare is beneficial because individuals can access medical services regardless of their wealth. Many Japanese municipalities allow citizens under 15 years of age to receive appropriate medical care at no cost. This generous program makes it easy to consult with medical experts.

In conclusion, it is crucial to establish robust social welfare programs to reduce disparity between different groups of people, leading to a more equal society.

1パラだけは、日本以外の事例で(タイトルが日本を限定していないため)2,3 ideasで日本の事例を出すことはセーフでしょう。

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